Help, My Long Lost Dad is a Crime Boss…

When I think of a summer beach/poolside read, I think of books that are easily read, not too long, and something that’s got some action going for itself. I’m not thinking of a book that has intricacies to the plot line that you have to pay attention to closely and has a commentary on today’s political climate. Not everything we read has to be brilliant. It’s supposed to be a guilty pleasure. The book of the week is definitely that.IMG_2623

This week I’m covering The Safest Lies by Megan Miranda. I would classify this as a YA suspense novel. It’s super easy to read and has tons of action, but fair warning: this is all very cheesy and I had to laugh even during the serious parts.

It opens with our main character Kelsey Thomas, who is a smart and reserved high schooler whose mother was kidnapped around her age and has not left their house for as long as she can remember. They even have a case worker, Jan, who comes by the house every week or as needed and is basically Kelsey’s only emergency contact. They live in a giant mansion that has top notch security so as to keep people out, and angsty Kelsey believes it’s only to keep her inside. Typical teenager and also anyone whose mother is batshit.

One night as Kelsey is on her way home, she gets in a car wreck. Although she doesn’t know how it happened, she finds herself hanging upside down in her car, which is in a tree, which is dangling over a cliff. Dramatic!

But don’t worry. She is safely in the arms of her crush, Ryan Baker, who is also a fireman outside of school since he’s conveniently 18. He holds them up and helps get them out and surprise, surprise, they are now linked forever thanks to this life or death scenario.

Since Ryan is a hero, the newspaper writes up an article and includes Kelsey’s name, which her mother is definitely not happy with since they are to maintain a low profile to make sure her kidnappers never get in contact with her and daughter ever again.

Next thing you know, Kelsey’s mom goes missing, which is discovered after Kelsey had snuck out of the house and Ryan has driven her home. Their security system is not working. Once in the dark, gloomy mansion. They discover there are people coming around to break into the house. Now we’re about to go through a few days of turmoil where Kelsey is living with Jan and her family (Kelsey used to date her son Cole), and Ryan has taken on role of overly protective, masculine boyfriend, which eerily reminds me of my high school boyfriend.

Anyway, Kelsey decides to be dramatic and goes back into her home and people are trying to break in again. Naturally Ryan comes for her and he learns that Kelsey learned how to make a bomb back when she was homeschooled. It only kind of works.

Eventually after all the action that I’ll let you read for yourself if you haven’t already, we find out that her mom has been on the run and is back to get the cash she keeps in the safe, which Kelsey’s long last dad has been looking for since they robbed a bank together. Yeah. Kelsey’s mom was not kidnapped. She ran off with her boyfriend and robbed banks with him.

Kelsey is forced to deal with the fact that she comes from some criminals and that she may never have a normal life again. Also, she’s probably pretty behind in her studies, but since her character is supposed to be the studious type, I’m sure her teachers will give her break. Will she get to live out the rest of her life normal? Will someone always be on the run for her? I doubt it, because she’s actually not interesting until any of this happens to her. But read The Safest Lies for yourself and let me know what you think.IMG_2621

Crime Boss Blood-tini

– 2 oz. vodka

– 1 oz. Orange liqueur
– Grapefruit or Blood Orange juice


Pour ice and all ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Stir well. Strain into a martini glass, or, if you’re like me, into whatever glass you have. Enjoy!


Don’t forget to drink responsively.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s